


Beware the Night Is Closing in

by Sundial_at_Night



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, One Shot, Sensory Deprivation, The Void, Whump, Whumptober 2020, no.24
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-25
Updated: 2020-10-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:01:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27196174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sundial_at_Night/pseuds/Sundial_at_Night
Summary: Written for Whumptober 2020 No 24. YOU'RE NOT MAKING ANY SENSE - Sensory DeprivationThe Void is Dark
Comments: 7
Kudos: 23





	Beware the Night Is Closing in

It was dark. That was all Loki knew.

The Void was dark.

His eyes looked for light everywhere, and found nothing real. Sometimes he imagined that he could see stars in the corners of his vision—faint little lights that meant he was not doomed to fall forever. But they passed by quickly, and he was left to his fall.

After a time, he came to believe that there were any lights at all; just his mind playing tricks on him to distract itself from the darkness. But there was no distraction from the darkness. There was no sleep, no sound, no  _ break.  _ It was relentless.

He tried to shut it out. The darkness. The silence. That did not work for long. He tried closing his eyes, tried to forget that it was dark. He tried talking aloud, and when that was not loud enough, he tried screaming. Neither attempts to maintain his sanity were successful.

Later, he reached out with his magic, trying to summon lights, music,  _ anything.  _ But it did not respond as it should have, shying away from him, as afraid of the dark as he was.

The dreams started. Well, he could not tell if they were dreams or, perhaps more accurately,  _ visions.  _ It was difficult to tell when sleep could not be differentiated from consciousness.

He dreamed of the Eternal Sea turning to blood. Aesir blood spilled into the Void as Laufey and the Frost Giants poured through the open Bifrost. Ashes flitting through the sky. Asgard burned, and Loki with it.

They never made it to Jotunheim. Odin was waiting for them on the Bifrost, Gungnir in hand, and backed by a legion of Einherjar. They returned to the palace. Loki was made king. Everything was perfect until Thor went to Laufey for answers, and Loki had to plan a rescue mission for Asgard’s idiot prince. They argued on the Bifrost, centuries of distrust and hate boiling over the surface. They fought. Loki fell. Thor did not catch him.

The Giant grabbed his arm, blue spreading up his arm like ice. Over his torso; he could feel it beneath his armour. With a hidden dagger, he slit his enemy’s throat, and stared at the cursed blue. It continued up to his face, changing his vision. He could see better like this, and that was  _ wrong.  _ Thor did not hesitate to hurl Mjolnir at the monster, unaware that anything was amiss.

He knew he was losing his mind, that he was going insane. What was worse was that there was nothing he could do to stop it. His magic shrunk away from him, there was no sound, no light. Even Heimdall could not see into the Void. Nobody came for him, and nobody would. Why would they, after all?

He  _ chose  _ this.

The Void made him into nothing, clawing at him, and tearing his mind to shreds and scraps of what it was before. All of what was had been burned away. What remained was only a Prince ( _ not really _ ) of the Void. God of Darkness. Of Nothingness. Of Silence, of the Unending Cold, of the Eternal Abyss and the Bottomless Fall. Of Oblivion.

But Oblivion did not claim him.

No. ‘Dead’ could not yet be added to his ever-growing list of titles. He wished it would.

There was no sleep. No thought. No peace. He was lost in the motion, begging the Void to let him go. Let him  _ rest. _

It never listened.

The lights of distant planets or stars flew by. He wanted nothing more than to land on one, knowing full well the fall would probably kill him. That was fine. Anything for this to end. He’d die here eventually anyway, right? Whether that be from starvation, or from his mind decaying to the point of no return.

A part buried deep within him still held onto the hope that Asgard would come for him. Heimdall saw all, did he not?

The rest of them knew they would not rescue him from his fate. Not after all he’d done. Not for the second not-son of Odin who had outlived his usefulness.

Not after he chose his own fate—the coward’s way out, unable to bear the consequences of his actions.

What would be the point of that?

What did he have left?

No, Asgard would not come, and Loki did not allow himself to hope they would.

It still hurt; Thor leaving him to his fate so easily. He shouldn’t have been surprised, not after centuries of mockery and scorn and “know your place”.

He knew it now; he’d never had one to begin with.

Asgard had never been home, and every additional second he spent floating, falling, through the nothingness proved that fact further. They bore no love for him, and never had.

Loki pulled his thoughts back from the darkest corners of his mind instinctively just like he’d been doing for most of his life when the voices got too loud. He’d go mad dwelling on the events long since past. Not that he wasn’t already.

He fell, visions and hallucinations plagued his mine. He knew they were false, but fell victim to them regardless. At least those gave him something besides the Void.

And then he landed, limbs crumpling in a pile in the dirt. His eyes burned with the full light of the sun. He lay there for a long time, unmoving but awake, just waiting for the elements to take him. He did not try to get up or move, or even open his eyes a fraction. Breathing again,  _ feeling  _ again, was a joy. Knowing there was air, and that there was ground beneath him was enough. He could hear again; the grass rustling around him, and in the distance, the faint sound of running water. The smell of evergreen trees, the sweetness of unknown wildflowers.

It overwhelmed him, but he welcomed it nonetheless.

The pain did not register yet, and that was a blessing. Perhaps he could die peacefully surrounded by what could very well be a vision, but felt magnificently, delightfully  _ real. _

The peace, however, did not last long.

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact: prolonged time in total darkness causes the human mind to hallucinate after only a few minutes :) And the only natural places where total darkness occurs are caves, the bottom of the ocean and, you guessed it, space!
> 
> Have a lovely whumptober everyone! :)


End file.
